Date: Tue, 4 Apr 2000 10:44:13 -0400 (EDT) From: Tea Bone Subject: BLAGUES-L: Blonde again [ Of course, these jokes are just a pretext for puns. Replace "blonde" with any scapegoat you like... (/jg) ] Date: Fri, 6 Feb 1998 15:17:22 -0500 From: "Stéphane B. Bazan" SHE WAS SO BLONDE... - she thought TuPac Shakur was a jewish holiday - she sent me a fax with a stamp on it - she thought a quarterback was a refund - she tried to put M&M's in alphabetical order - she thought Boyz II Men was a daycare center - she thought Meow Mix was a record for cats - under "education" on her job application, she put "Hooked On Phonics" - she tried to drown a fish - she tripped over a cordless phone - she spent 20 minutes looking at the orange juice box because it said "concentrate" - she put lipsick on her forehead because she wanted to make up her mind - she got stabbed in a shoot-out - she told me to meet her at the corner of "WALK" and "DONT WALK" - she sat on the tv and watched the couch - she got locked in a grocery store and starved to death - if you gave her a penny for intelligence, you'd get change back - they had to burn the school down to get her out of third grade - she took a ruler to bed to see how long she slept - at the bottom of the application where it says "sign here".. she put "Sagittarius" - she asked for a price check at the Dollar Store - it takes her two hours to watch 60 Minutes - if she spoke her mind, she'd probably be speechless - she studied for a blood test - and failed - she thought she needed a token to get on Soul Train - she sold the car for gas money - when she saw the "NC-17" (under 17 not admitted), she went home and got 16 friends - when she heard that 90% of all crimes occur around the home, she moved - she thinks Taco Bell is where you pay your phone bill - when she missed the 44 bus, she took the 22 bus twice instead - when she took you to the airport and saw a sign that said "Airport Left" she turned around and went home. ****************************************** Two blondes were in a parking lot trying to unlock the door of their Mercedes with a coat hanger. They tried and tried to get the door open, but they couldn't. The girl with the coat hanger stopped for a moment to catch her breath, and her friend said anxiously, "Hurry up! It's starting to rain and the top is down." ****************************************** A young blonde woman is distraught because she fears her husband is having an affair, so she goes to a gun shop and buys a handgun. The next day she comes home to find her husband in bed with a beautiful redhead. She grabs the gun and holds it to her own head. The husband jumps out of bed, begging and pleading with her not to shoot herself. Hysterically the blonde responds to the husband, "shut up...you're next!" ****************************************** Hear about the blonde that got an AM radio? It took her a month to realize she could play it at night. ****************************************** What happened to the blonde ice hockey team? They drowned in Spring training. What did the blonde say when she saw the sign in front of the YMCA? "Look! they spelled MACYS wrong." Why do blondes like lightning? They think someone is taking their picture. Why did the blonde scale the chain-link fence? To see what was on the other side. How do you make a blonde laugh on Saturday? Tell her a joke on Wednesday.