Date: Thu, 14 Oct 1999 15:13:08 -0400 (EDT)
From: Humble Eavable
Subject: BLAGUES-L: Parenting terms

Date: Mon, 06 Oct 97 19:00:04 
From: jean.paul

        ++==++--++==++--++==++--++==++--++==++--++==++--++==++--++==++        
        ++    P A R E N T I N G     G L O S S A R Y   OF  TERMS:    ++        
        ++--++==++--++==++--++==++--++==++--++==++--++==++--++==++--++        


-- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- 



AMNESIA:     condition that enables a woman who has gone through labor to have
             sex again.                                                       

DUMBWAITER:  one who asks if the kids would care to order dessert.            

FAMILY PLANNING: the art of spacing your children the proper distance a part  
                 to keep you on the edge of financial disaster.               

FEEDBACK:    the inevitable result when the baby doesn't appreciate the       
             strained carrots.                                                

FULL NAME:   what you call your child when you're mad at him.                 

GRANDPARENTS: the people who think your children are wonderful even though    
              they're sure you're not raising them right.                     

HEARSAY:     what toddlers do when anyone mutters a dirty word.               

IMPREGNABLE:  a woman whose memory of labor is still vivid.                   

INDEPENDENT: how we want our children to be as long as they do everything     
             we say.                                                          

OW:          the first word spoken by children with older siblings            

PRENATAL:    when your life was still somewhat your own.                      

PUDDLE:      a small body of water that draws other small bodies wearing dry  
             shoes into it.                                                   

SHOW OFF:    a child who is more talented than yours.                         

STERILIZE:   what you do to your first baby's pacifier by boiling it and to   
             your last baby's pacifier by blowing on it.                      

TOP BUNK:    where you should never put a child wearing Superman jammies.     

TWO-MINUTE WARNING: when the baby's face turns red and she begins to make     
                    those familiar grunting noises.                           

VERBAL:      able to whine in words                                           

WHODUNIT:    none of the kids that live in your house