Date: Tue, 1 Jun 1999 10:32:38 -0400 (EDT) From: Until Death Subject: BLAGUES-L: Darwin Awards Newsletter June 1999 [ Here are this month's Darwin Awards. As specified on their web site, "the Darwin Awards commemorate (the remains of) individuals who eliminate themselves in an extroardinarily idiotic manner, thereby dousing our gene pool with chlorine." You will also find some excerpts in German, French and Spanish on their web site. Please remember that this is copyrighted (not by me, by www.DarwinAwards.com). If you forward this, have the decency to keep the informations. (/jg) ] Date: Mon, 31 May 1999 20:11:59 -0700 From: news@DarwinAwards.com ....................................... Darwin Awards Newsletter June 1999 ....................................... LAUGHING GAS - Darwin Award Nominees GONE FISHIN' - Darwin Award Nominee THE BUMBERSHOOT - Darwin Award Nominee COUPLE DIES IN A HEARSE - Darwin Award Nominees GANGSTER BLUES - Personal Account OVERKILL - Urban Legend IN THIS ISSUE: Find out who laughs last when using laughing gas! Read about fresh fish caught the hard way! Find out what happens when sword-swallowers go bad! Learn the tragic tale of two young lovers! Laugh at yet another stupid criminal story! And raise your eyebrows at a suicide gone awry! ....................................... LAUGHING GAS 1999 Darwin Awards Nominees Confirmed True by Darwin We can thank our lucky stars that there are two fewer paramedics around. Carol and Mark were found dead in their suburban home by Mark's 14-year-old son. The couple were wearing respiratory masks attached to an empty canister of nitrous oxide. Nitrous oxide, commonly known as laughing gas, produces a short-lived high, and is often used as a relaxant in dental offices and outpatient clinics. Like every other pure gas, it must be mixed with air or oxygen, lest it cause suffocation. Needless to say, Carol and Mark did not mix the nitrous oxide with air. What makes this story a true Darwin Award candidate is that both of the deceased had enough medical training to known better. Mark was a 10-year veteran paramedic with the District of Columbia Fire Department. Carol was studying to become an emergency medical technician in a suburban fire department. Even more amusing is a quoke from the Washington D.C. Fire Department's public information officer, who said that Mark was "one of the most educated and highly trained people we had." That must alleviate the concerns of thousands of D.C. residents! www.DarwinAwards.com © 1999 http://www.DarwinAwards.com ....................................... GONE FISHIN' 1999 Darwin Awards Nominee Confirmed True by Darwin A fisherman in Kiev electrocuted himself while fishing in the river Tereblya. The 43-year-old man connected cables to the main power supply of his home, and trailed the end into the river. The electric shock killed the fish, which floated belly-up to the top of the water. The man waded in to collect his catch, neglecting to remove the live wire, and tragically suffered the same fate as the fish. In an ironic twist, the man was fishing for a mourning meal to commemorate the first anniversary of his mother-in-law's death. www.DarwinAwards.com © 1999 http://www.DarwinAwards.com ....................................... THE BUMBERSHOOT 1999 Darwin Awards Nominee A sword swallower died in Bonn after he put an umbrella down his throat - and accidentally pushed the button that opened it. http://www.DarwinAwards.com ....................................... COUPLE DIES IN HEARSE 1999 Darwin Awards Nominee Confirmed True by Darwin A young Mexican couple were found dead in the back of a hearse on Sunday. Jose, 23, employed by the Perez Diaz funeral home in Campeche, met Ana Maria on Saturday for a romantic tryst in his hearse. He parked in a warehouse and left the engine running to provide air conditioning. In the enclosed location, the carbon monoxide-laden exhaust fumes seeped into the vehicle, fatally poisoning the couple. Their bodies were found when Ana Maria's mother initiated a search for her missing daughter. www.DarwinAwards.com © 1999 http://www.DarwinAwards.com ....................................... GANGSTER BLUES 1999 Darwin Awards Personal Account Dear Sirs / Friends, I'm Italian, but I spent a few years working in Brazil. I remember well an event that happened last year in Sao Paulo. We all laughed really a lot. It was almost a Warner Bros. cartoon death. A car full of gangsters was being pursued by a police car, and soon both began to fire at each other. Suddenly, one of the gangsters had the bright idea to throw a grenade against the police car. He pulled the pin and in the heat of the chase, he threw the pin out of the car instead of the grenade. The policemen saw the man doing this! The hand grenade exploded in the gangster's car, killing him instantly and wounding the other bandits. I can clearly remember the laughter of the citizens, policemen, and the television anchormen. I hope this helps on your researches into the human^Å www.DarwinAwards.com © 1999 http://www.DarwinAwards.com ....................................... OVERKILL 1999 Darwin Awards Urban Legend In France, Jacques LeFevrier left nothing to chance when he decided to commit suicide. He stood atop a sheer cliff and tied a noose around his neck. He tied the other end of the rope to a large rock. He drank some poison and set fire to his clothes. He even tried to shoot himself at the last moment. He jumped and fired the pistol. The bullet missed him completely and cut through the rope above him. Now freed from the threat of hanging, he plunged into the sea. The dunking extinguished the flames and made him vomit the poison. He was dragged out of the water by a kind fisherman and was taken to a hospital, where he died of hypothermia. www.DarwinAwards.com © 1999 http://www.DarwinAwards.com ....................................... Darwin Awards Newsletter June 1999 To subscribe, send email to news@DarwinAwards.com" .......................................