Date: Mon, 12 Jul 1999 15:41:37 -0400 (EDT) From: Quee Beck Subject: BLAGUES-L: Cajun jokes Date: Mon, 28 Jul 1997 22:50:31 -0500 (CDT) From: Willis Ray Boudreaux went shopping at Acadiana Mall in Lafayette. Soon after he got there, he ran to find a security guard. "Officer, officer, you gotta help me. I done lock my keys in my car." "Well, which car is it?" "It's that convertable over there. The top's down and it looks like it's going to rain and I don't want my wife to drown." =========================================================================== Boudreaux and his wife were driving back home after a weekend on the bayou. As they were on the interstate, a state trooper pulled them over. The trooper walked to Boudreaux's truck and said, "Sir, do you realize that you were going 90 mph in a 65 mph zone?" "Mais, non, that can't be true. Me, I don't never speed. Not in my whole life, non." "Well, sir," the trooper said. "That's what the radar gun said." "Me, I don't care, no," Boudreux said. "I tole you, I don't speed. You can axe my wife." He was near tears by now. "Well, ma'am," the trooper said. "Is it true that your husband doesn't speed?" "Oh, officer," Mrs. Boudreaux said. "After he been drinking all day, me, I don't pay him no mind." =========================================================================== Boudreaux and Thibodaux left early one morning to go fishing. They rented a boat and fished for hours with little success. Toward the end of the day, however, they got into a whole nest of sac-a-lait (crappie). They put more than 50 of the big milky-white fish into the boat in less than an hour. Mais, Thibodaux, we got to mark this spot, yeah, and come back tomorrow." So Thibodaux reached into his tackle box and pulled out a big black marker. He reached over the side of the boat and put a big X there. "Mais, cuyon," Boudreaux said. "How you know we gonna get the same boat tomorrow?" =========================================================================== Boudreaux was feeling frisky and stopped at Wal-Mart on the way home and bought his wife a little white silk nightie. He gave it to Mrs. Bourdreax when he got home and she admired it and took it into the bathroom with her right before they went to bed. After taking her bath, she decided that she was going to give Boudreaux a thrill and go into the bedroom wearing nothing. "How you like dis?" she asked Boudreaux, who was lying in bed in the darkened room. "Mais, it's ok, but next time maybe you can iron it first." ============================================================================= Maw-maw and Paw-paw celebrated their 50th wedding anniversary. They had a big party with all of the kids and grandkids and great grandkids and all kinds of other friends and relatives. After the party was over, Paw-paw was sitting on the bed getting ready to turn in. Maw-maw, who was in the bathroom, said, "Cher, you remember what we was doing 50 years ago tonight?" "Oh, mais, yeah," Paw-paw said. "You was so nervous, but finally you come and sit down next to me on the bed." Maw-maw came out of the bedroom and sat down next to Paw-paw. "And, then, cher," Maw-maw said. "I remember that I put my arms around you like dis." And she did so. "Then I remember dat you started nibbling on my ear and, ooo, I like dat." At this, Paw-paw jumped up off the bed. "Mais, where you going, cher?" Maw-maw asked. "To get my teeth." ============================================================================ Boudreaux and Thibodaux went deer hunting and toward the end of the day realized they didn't know where they were. They walked around a while, but didn't see anything familiar. Finally, Boudreaux said to Thibodaux, "You go in dat little clearing dere and fire up a shot. Maybe somebody see it and come rescue us." So Thibodaux did. And they waited. And waited. And the sun kept sinking lower and lower. Finally, Boudreaux told Thibodaux to go to the clearing and fire another shot. So Thibodaux did. And they waited. And waited. And the sun sank lower and lower. So Boudreaux told Thibodaux to go fire yet another shot from the clearing. "Well, ok," Thibodaux said. "But dis is de last one. Me, I'm running out of arrows."