Date: Thu, 11 Apr 1996 19:18:57 -0400 (EDT) Subject: BLAGUES-L: Tennis elbow Quelques-uns d'entre vous l'auront deja recu. Desole. Date: Thu, 11 Apr 1996 13:10:02 -0400 (EDT) From: Laporte Isabelle From: Robert Donovan From: Martin Lavoie A guy (we'll call him Ian) goes to the doctor to complain about tennis elbow. When he gets there, the nurse asks him for a urine sample. Thinking that this was odd, Ian reluctantly agreed. The doctor called Ian into his office and said "Our new urinalysis machine has determined that you have tennis elbow!" Ian said, "I don't believe you, the nurse probably told you that." "No," said the doctor, "this machine costs millions of dollars, but it is so accurate that it can analyze any urine. We end up saving a lot of money in wasted time and misdiagnoses." He continued , "take these pills and come back in 2 weeks for another urinalysis to see how you have progressed." Two weeks pass and Ian had a great idea. Instead of his urine, he got his wife and 15 year old daughter to pee in the jar. He also drained some oil from his Ford Probe. As an added bonus, he mixed in some of his own sperm. He shook the jar very well, to make sure it was totally mixed up. When he got to the doctor, he can barely keep from laughing. The first test (2 weeks earlier) took less than 5 minutes to analyze. Half an hour passed, then an hour, and finally, 2 hours later, the urinalysis machine printed its report. The doctor looked it over and said, "I have some very bad news." Ian, still trying to contain his laughter because he thought he fooled the machine said, "Give it to me straight, doc...I can take it, ha, ha!" The doctor said, "Well, your wife has VD, your daughter is pregnant, your transmission has a hole in it, and if you don't stop whacking off, you'll never get rid of your tennis elbow!"