Date: Wed, 6 Mar 1996 07:23:10 -0500
Subject: BLAGUES-L: foreign signs
Here are some signs and notices written in English that were discovered
throuqhout the world. You have to give the writers an
"E" for effort. We hope you enjoy them.
In a Bucharest hotel lobby:
The lift is being fixed for the next day. During that time
we regret that you will be unbearable.
In a Tokyo Hotel
Is forbidden to steal hotel towels please. If you are not
a person to do such a thing is please not to read notis.
In a Belgrade hotel elevator:
To move the cabin, push button for wishing floor. If the
cabin should enter more persons, each one should press a
number of wishing floor. Driving is then going alphabetically
by national order.
In a Paris hotel elevator:
Please leave your values at the front desk.
In a hotel in Athens:
Visitors are expected to complain at the office between the
hours of 9 and 11 A.M. daily.
In a Yugoslavian hotel:
The flattening of underwear with pleasure is the job of
chambermaid.
In a Japanese hotel:
You are invited to take advantage of the chambermaid.
In the lobby of a Moscow hotel across from Russian Orthodox
monastery:
You are welcome to visit the cemetary where famous Russian and
Soviet composers, artists, and writers are buried daily except
Thursday.
In an Austrian hotel catering to skiers:
Not to perambulate the corriders during the hours of
repose in the boots of ascension.
On the menu of a Swiss restaurant:
Our wines leave you nothing to hope for.
On the menu of a Polish hotel:
Salad a firm's own make; limpid red beet soup with
cheesy dumplings in the form of a finger; roasted duck let
loose; beef rashers beaten up in the country people's fashion.
Outside a Hong Kong tailer shop:
Ladies may have a fit upstairs.
In a Bangkok dry cleaners:
Drop your trousers here for best results.
Outside a Paris dress shop:
Dresses for street walking.
In a Rhodes tailor shop:
Order your summers suit. Because is big rush we will
execute customers in strict rotation.
>From the Soviet weekly:
There will be a Moscow Exhibition of Arts by 150,000
Soviet Republic painters and sculptors. These were executed over
the past two years.
A sign posted in Germany's Black Forest:
It is strictly forbidden on our black forest camping
site that people of different sex, for instance, men and women,
live together in one tent unless they are married with each
other for that purpose.
In a Zurich hotel:
Because of the impropriety of entertaining guests of
the opposite sex in the bedroom, it is suggested that the lobby be
used for this purpose.
In an advertisement by a Hong Kong dentist:
Teeth extracted by the latest Methodists.
In a Rome laundry:
Ladies, leave your clothes here and spend the
afternoon having a good time.
Advertisement for donkey rides in Thailand:
Would you like to ride on your own ass?
In a Copenhagen airline ticket office:
We take your bags and send them in all directions.
On the door of a Moscow hotel room:
If this is your first visit to the USSR, you are welcome to
it,
In a Norwegian cocktail lounge:
Ladies are requested not to have children in the bar.
In a Budapest zoo:
Please do not feed the animals. If you have any suitable food,
give it to the guard on duty.
In an Acapulco hotel:
The manager has personally passed all the water served here.
>From a Japanese information booklet about using a hotel air
conditioner:
Cooles and neatest If you want just condition of warm in your
room, please control yourself.
>From a brochure of a car rental firm in Tokyo:
When passenger of foot heave in sight, tootle the horn.
Trumpet him melodiously at first, but if he still obstacles
your passage then tootle him with vigor.