Date: Wed, 25 Oct 1995 11:32:14 -0400 (EDT)
Subject: BLAGUES-L: Tire de [alt.best-of-usenet]

Newsgroups: alt.geek
From: Ed Thomson
Subject: Re: Gates

In <45jf4j$oqs@Pulsar.Tach.Net> ThatKid
writes:

>so I have this really nice honda accord ex (au++), but I am concidering
>painting the Microsoft Windows logo on the hood. Any thoughts about this?

As soon as you do that, these things will start happening:

1. Your car will suddenly start to hiccup along the side of the road, allowing
   you to possibly press three buttons to stop the malfunctioning car
   component, or it will be too dead even for that and you will have to turn
   the ignition off, and then on again.
2. The car will eat up much more gas than it currently does.  Windows takes
   a lot, you know.
3. "Hell on wheels" never fit more appropriately.
4. You won't be able to do any more of the things you like about your car
   at the same time.  Forget about listening to the radio and running your
   windshield wipers at the same time.  Even on a full tank of gas, the radio
   will sound like you're playing a 45 record at 33, and the wipers will go
   extra slow.
5. The engine light will start randomly blinking "General protection fault".

And finally...

6. The Unix people will rearend you.