Date: Wed, 28 Jun 1995 20:36:49 -0400 (EDT)
Subject: Why did the chicken cross the road (version Star Trek)

the Question is - WHY DID THE CHICKEN CROSS THE ROAD ?
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

 Chakotay:  Whatever its reason, whatever its goals, we should  respect
 its right to cross the road and seek its own spiritual  awareness.

 Neelix:  Actually, Captain, I'm not really familiar with the chickens
 in this system.  But, if you can catch it, I can cook it.

 Riker:  I don't know why, but I know how:  with pleasure, sir.

 Worf:  I don't know.  KLINGON chickens do NOT cross roads.

 HoloDoc:  How should I know?  No one tells me anything around here.
 I didn't even know we added chickens to the crew.  All I know is that
 it would have been nice, BEFORE the chicken went off to the cross the
 road, if it had remembered to turn me off!

 Dr. Crusher:  If there's nothing wrong with the chicken, there must be
 something wrong with the universe.

 Dr. Soran:  His heart just wasn't in it.  (Scenes of chicken torture
 with nanoprobes have been edited out.)

 Scotty:  Because she couldna take much morrrrrre.

 Odo:  I don't know, but I'm sure it must be Quark's fault.

 Quark:  Who, me?

 Charlie X:  Because it didn't want to STAY...STAY...STAY...

 Kirk:  You chicken bastard, you killed my son...YOU chicken BASTARD,
 you killed...my SON...you CHICKEN bastard....youkilledmy...son!

 Troi:  I feel the chicken's pain!

 Kira:  It was probably being chased by those cursed Cardassians.

 Bones:  Dammit, I'm a doctor, not an ornithologist!

 Data:  The chicken, in observing that it was on the opposite side of
 the 20th century Terran paved roadway, was aware that its immediate
 goal should have been to traverse the distance without interception by
 any kind of combustion-propelled personal transport vehicle,  but I am
 unclear as to why any kind of domesticated fowl should desire to
 perambulate upon a conveyance normally reserved for the usage of...yes,
 sir.

 Dr. Bashir:  It probably heard about my amazing medical skills not to
 mention my sexual prowess and came to get some pointers.

 The Borg:  Crossing the road is irrelevant. The chicken will be
 assimilated.

 Hugh the Borg:  Maybe it just needed a big hug!

 B'Elanna:  I'm sure it felt suffocated by all the bleeping regulations
 of bleeping Starfleet and just couldn't stand it any longer!

 Picard:  There are four lights!

 Q:  Wouldn't you like to know?  Too bad your puny human brain wouldn't
 be able to comprehend the answer.

 Uhura:  Shall I open hailing frequencies so you can ask it, sir?

 Tasha:  That depends...was it fully functional?

 Chekov:  It must have been on its way to assist in saving my life for
 the billionth time..did I scream this time?

 Khan:  With my last breath I spit at the chicken...

 Harry:  I don't know, it's my first mission.

 Paris: Well, I think that...say, that's a lovely shirt you're wearing.

 Harvey Mudd:  Chicken?  I don't remember any chicken.  No no no,
 there's been a terrible misunderstanding.

 Janeway:  Its primary goal was no doubt to get back to the Alpha
 Quadrant...and it probably misses its dog.

 Nurse Chapel:  Oh, Spock!

 Lwaxana:  Oh, Jean-Luc!

 Spock:  Fascinating, Captain.

 V'Ger:  To join with the Creator.

 The Grand Nagus:  Stupid chicken!  You don't cross the road all at once!
 You sneak across it quietly, without anyone noticing!

 Gul Dukat:  Well, that's a very interesting question...I'm sure we can
 work out some kind of arrangement to obtain that information that will
 be to everyone's satisfaction.

 Kes:  It was remembering back to the times when its ancestors crossed
 roads all the time!  They lost those abilities because  they stopped
 using them!

 O'Brien:  No problem, Commander, I'll get right on it.

 Wesley:  I'm not sure, but I can figure it out if I reroute these
 systems and reconfigure the warp field and run a complete internal
 whootchacallit on the computers and...

 Sisko:  It was seeking deeper meaning.  Jake, do you see what we've
 learned from all this?

 Jake:  Check out the babe that just came off that transport!

 Geordi:  Well, wherever it's going, I'm sure it'll have more luck with
 women than I do.

 Sulu:  Don't call me Tiny!

 Sarek:  Sometimes logic fails me where chickens are concerned.

 Mr. Homn:

 Dax:  To get to the other side.  Kurzon might have disagreed with me,
 Tobin I'm sure wouldn't have had a clue,and then there's...

 Tuvok:  That's not a question we'd prefer to hear from a senior
 officer. It makes the junior officers nervous.