Date: Thu, 15 Jun 1995 09:44:26 -0400 (EDT) From: Jocelyn G Subject: Parodie de Star Trek en chanson (c) L.Moroney. With Apologies to Queen, LEd Zepplin, UB40 etc, etc.... ** MB = Marsha BeckMeyer MA = Michael Auborn POV Deep Space.. [Cast] Is this the real life? Is this just fantasy? Caught in a warp drive An escape from reality? POV [Fans....to Paramount Producer (prodding MB and MA with an electric prod with the word "copyright" emblazoned on it)] Open your eyes! Look out from your lies and see! [Data (eating a Garlic Muffin)] I'm just a poor droid Give me some sympathy! [Producer] Because we're easy come, easy go Rip you off Take you slow! Any way the story goes Doesn't really matter to meeeee..... to me (Producer takes out a videotape of ST7:Generations....*his* version) Piano Starts...On screen we see Captain Picard and Deanna Troi... [Picard] Deanna, my brother's dead It makes me feel so vexed 'Cos he was killed by Klingon Sex, Deanna, ooooooooooooooooooo Now he's gone and thrown it all away! [Kirk] Deanna, ooooooooooooooooooooo I don't wanna die [Fans] We sometimes wish you'd never been born at all [Paramount rep.] Carry on!, Carry on, 'Cos the fans don't really matter! [Fans] Too lame, the time has come NextGen movie's what they said! But the script is nearly dead! [Spock] Too lame! I've got go Gonna leave you behind, watch 'Shades of Grey' [Picard] Deanna, ooooooooo Didn't mean to make you cry! If I'm not back again this time tomorrow! Carry on, Carry on, and finish this wretched movie! [Picard] Deanna, this uniform Speaks of honour breath on breath In its' service we find death Deanna, he was just simple And now his life is gone, I'm far away [Kirk] Deanna, oooooooooooooo (Producer) Any where the cash goes I dont wanna die [Fans] We often wish he'd never been born at all Vulcan Lyre Solo, played by Spock... (Picard is called to the bridge...) [Riker] I see a little silhuetto of ship [Bridge Crew] Is it Q? Is it Q? [Picard] No, DeLancie wouldn't sign up (A Warbird Decloaks) [Riker] Send a big torpedo, reflecting my libido now! [Picard] Raise the shields, Raise The shields [Worf] Raise the shields is no go... [Crew] Magnifico- o -o - o [Data] I'm just a poor 'droid no body loves me [Cast] He's just a poor droid with a lame script you see! [Fans] Spare us oh please from this monstrosity! [Marsha and Michael] Easy come, easy go Will you let us go? [Paramount] Be still now! No! We'll not let you go! [MA&MB] Let us go! [Paramount] Be still now! We'll not let you! We'll not let you! No No No No No No NO! (Brannon Braga walks onto the stage....) [M&M] Oh Brannon Braga! Brannon Braga! Brannon Braga let us go! For Paramount have a copyright writ on us! On us! On uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuus [Brannon] So you think you can write a script much better than mine! So you think you can send it in on-line! Oh Marsha! Can't do this to me Marsha! You can get out You can get of here! (The entire project falls apart under the weight of its' own inconsistencies to dramatic instrumental music at this point...) (everybody leaves the stage, and Kirk is left on his own, still trapped in the mysterious 'Nexus') [Kirk] What about my death scene? My final glory? What about my death scene? What about..... Me Me self Me???? [Stairway to heaven music starts] [Brannon Braga - with a new story idea..] There's a Vulcan who's sure, But wants to know more, So he's flying a starship to heaven...... [Fans] When he gets there he'll know That this story's no go In a word, we won't get what we came for [Paramount Exec, rubbing his hans together thoughtfully] MMMMM MMM MMMM, MMM MMM MMMMMMMM And he's flying a starship to heaven? [Kirk] And it makes me wonder.... Yeah, it makes me wonder... Oooooooo Yeah, it makes me wonder Can I be director? [Spock thrashes the lyre, but not out of musical emotion....] [Stage undergoes a metamorphasis rather like that at the beginning of Yesterdays Enterprise...] [Guinan walks onstage, looking a little perplexed..] [Guinan] Ooooh and it makes me wonder.... OOoooh we already made this blunder.. (she walks to Picards ready room) [Guinan] There is a time rift off the portside Did you know that? And now we live in a wierd timeframe! There are now two paths we can go by, but in the long run We must save Earth from this sordid fray... [Tasha Yar walks in...] And it makes me wonder... Jean-Luc, Are you my mother? (She then vanishes in a puff of illogic) [Guinan] For there's a power you don't know It cometh from that time wormhole It changed the future of the Earth. And that future was our birth! [Fans] And it makes us wonder... If we stop Brannon Braga, Will this awful blunder, End the Star Trek Saga? [Picard] And it makes me wonder? If we enter the time rift. Will it be a blunder? Or just a plot shift? (The Enterprise enters the wormhole....) As the music ends, she emerges to the music 'Red Red Wine' by UB40.... [Picard] Deep Space Nine! We're close to you! Have we permission to dock? To sort out our minds? [TO BE CONTINUED]